i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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