I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
