A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
