mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
