I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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