in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
