what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
