So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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