My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize