I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize