i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
