brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
