i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
