One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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