I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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