just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize