Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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