If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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