I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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