You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize