I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
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I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
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I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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