my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
