I want to make a zoo with you.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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