I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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