if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
