you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
COCAINE IS GR8
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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