I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
