Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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