im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
