i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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