my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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