there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
we should paint friendship bongs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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