Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
