i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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