areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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