Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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