Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
