You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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