what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
