omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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