only you would photoshop your dick
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
