THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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