There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
