what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize