Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
