I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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