using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
