she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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