No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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