that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
