had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
