I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Acid is not a monday night drug
The best revenge is premature balding
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
