What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have feelings that need drinking.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
