just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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