Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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